5 Things I Learned From the MTV Movie Awards

Everyone knew that this year's MTV Movie Awards would be exactly like last year's - 'Twilight' wins everything! The show was a disaster like usual - but I did learn a few things:

1. Robert Pattinson is a bumbling idiot - I always sort of enjoyed that awkwardness that exudes out of Kristen Stewart because she reminds me of how I would likely react if thousands of cameras were flashing in my face, but I was under the impression that R.Patz was a charming, lovable heartthrob. The thing is - I don't find him physically attractive at all, so the fact that he has zero personality bothers me tremendously. His intro to Reese Witherspoon's 'Generation Award' was truly painful to watch. First, he brought a cheat sheet with him - I get when actors win awards they might bring a cheat sheet because they don't want to forget to thank someone - but this was a minute long speech that he wrote! You are an actor - MEMORIZE IT. Second, he couldn't even read his own speech - half of it didn't even make sense, he mumbled through it and he didn't even deliver the punchline correctly. Third, his maturity level is about the same as a 6 year old - instead of pulling himself together he just kept laughing at himself. You know Patrick Dempsey was thinking the same thing as me "This guy?....really?".

2. Two guys kissing isn't front page news - In fact, if I didn't watch the show - I may have not know that it actually happened. While, Robert Pattinson is now on my shit list - I appreciate that he planted one (or three) on his male co-star Taylor Lautner (who I also find completely unattractive. Nice abs...sure - but the rest is not so great). I find it strange that when 2 girls kiss at these shows - it is reported everywhere! I guess because it is more acceptable in our society. Anyway, Go Rob!

3. Reese Witherspoon is cooler than I thought she was - I admit, I have always been a bit jealous of Reese - she was married to the hottest man alive. I was always a bit of a hater - but now my perception of her might change a little bit. I do think it is weird for her to win this award this year - when her recent films flopped (Like Water For Elephants, How do You Know), but I have a new found respect for her after the amazing speech she gave. First, she explains Robs joke in under a second. Second, she refuses to kiss Chelsea Handler because she is a slut (but they are friends so it's ok). Lastly, she goes after all the girls in Hollywood that have sex tapes and nude photos all over the tabloids - telling them that they should be embarrassed. I sincerely wish her luck in making good girls "cool" because - honestly, it has to be done. ASAP.

4. Jason "Sudoku" wasn't the best hosting choice - Again, I say Justin Timberlake would kill at a hosting gig like this. Jason's monologue was very "Arnold"-centric, which is like a 2 week old news story (which for this generation is like ancient history). He started to get funny when he made fun of girls in the audience like Selena, Kristen and Emma (who proved to be funnier than the host with one stare), but then I think he wimped out. I did enjoy the joke at the end about possibly being a father - too bad no one really got it.

5. Jim Carrey made me laugh (it's been a long time...) - "Foo can be pretty nasty stuff, so I am glad there is someone out there fighting it".